fitover50

When I was a child and people would ask me what I wanted to do or to be when I grew up, one of my common answers was to say, “I want to invent something.” I didn’t have any idea what I wanted to invent then. I don’t have any idea what I want to invent now. But I still want to invent something.

The reason for this goal, I have since come to realize, is that I want to leave something behind on this earth after I leave it behind me for whatever may exist beyond my time here. The need to be important in the world exists for most of us, I’m sure. After 50, the need may become an obsession as we realize we are not immortal. There is a time limit to this whole wild, crazy experience we call life. And, to coin a common cliche, “It’s later than you think.”

I spend a lot of time chasing myself around in circles trying to leave that mark on the world. I don’t think I’ve done anything, up to this point in time, that is particularly note-worthy. Beyond a few friends and family members, I can’t imagine who will remember me at all a few years after I’m gone.

I am disturbed by this. I don’t know what to do about it, if anything. I try to do the best I can at my job, in my home, in my marriage and in the world in general. Sure, I’m a good person, whatever that means. But, I’m quite sure there has been nothing up to this day that will earn me a place in the history books, in my community or even as a byline on a blog.

As the new year begins, I find the urge to “Make my Mark” to be greater in me than ever. Have you made your mark yet? Do you think you ever will? Do you have any idea what making your mark might entail? I would love to hear your answer to any of those questions.

The holiday season has come and gone once again. And, once again, for that I am eternally grateful. The chaos, the pre-planned events that took control of my life, the out of control frenzy that robbed me of the opportunity to be master of my own destiny, are now part of my memory bank. Good memories, to be sure, but happily locked away to allow me room to stretch and grow and get on with my life’s work.

It’s refreshing to take a break from the sameness of life. This, I suppose, is why the holiday season has evolved into the monster event that it has. We need to step back, take a few breaths, walk away from the daily grind. . . and party!

That being said, once again, I’m glad it’s over. I need to get back to my normal schedule. I need my day planner to run my life. I need to see forward momentum towards my goals. I’ve been away long enough.

Share your thoughts on holiday craziness. Share your thoughts on the return of normalcy. What will you be returning to in the New Year?

I’ve spent a lot of time in my life not doing some things I’ve wanted to do because I did not feel I could do them “perfectly.” I have not pursued career opportunities because I did not think I was qualified enough. I did not expose my hobbies to the world because my output was not “perfect.”

I have spent a lot of time waiting to be good enough at something to be able to show my talents to the world. For example, I would love to sing (somewhere more than just in the shower). I don’t. I haven’t. And I won’t. The reason? I’m afraid the world will see my mediocre voice for what it is (and what it isn’t) and will somehow disapprove.

I have passed up career options because I didn’t feel I was as good as someone who was already following that career path. I have put off writing the stories of my heart because I didn’t think my skills would measure up.

Somewhere along the way, I’ve started to realize that a whole lot of average joe’s are out there doing whatever it is they want to do and bringing good, bad and indifferent abilities to the party. A great number of people are not concerned with being perfect, only with doing what they want to do.

I’m happy with this new knowledge. I attribute it to one of the advantages of being Fit Over 50. Finally, at long last, I am coming into my own in terms of what I do and how I feel about what I do.

In the last few years I have joined the church choir. I don’t sing solo. I still don’t think the world is ready to that. But I do contribute something to the cause and my imperfect voice has found a home.

In the last year I was begun pursuing freelance writing opportunities and have been pleasantly surprised to see that my skills are at least good enough to have resulted in a handful of sales so far. It has given me the confidence to seek out more challenging markets for my work.

Am I alone in only realizing at 50+ that I can do what I want to do without being “perfect” first? I don’t think so. If you have any areas of life where you are experiencing an awakening in terms of what you are pursuing, or would like to pursue if you weren’t afraid, drop us an e-mail. Share with us the imperfect you reaching out to do your thing in an imperfect world.

I don’t know about you, but my view of holiday celebrations has certainly evolved in the 50+ years I have walked this earth. Of course the excitement of childhood holidays can be expected to change and mature as the idea of Santa Claus gives way to the practicality of working for a living in order to earn the money needed for holiday gift buying.

But, it’s more than that. I no longer want to be the recipient of holiday gifts. I feel as if my life is so full and rich that it is almost an embarrassment for me to accept gifts, especially from people who have far greater needs in their own lives than I have.

Today, the holidays are a time when I look at the world at large and wonder, “just what have I done to justify my time and place on the planet?” I don’t want to reach the end of my life and feel that all I did was take up space and use valuable resources.

Commercialism has turned the holidays into a huge “entitlement feast” where the main goal is to determine what “I” want and what “I” need to have to complete myself. I don’t think this was the original intent.

Do you have special ways of commemorating the holidays? How do you share the spirit of the season so that others are enriched by your presence in their lives? Drop an e-mail and share the special feelings of this season.

Once we pass the ripe old age of 50, things change. I’m not talking about the shift in muscle mass, the gray or white strands in our hair (or the total lack of hair), the presbyopia that attacks our vision or the way certain foods affect us like they never did before.

No, I’m talking about changes in the way we see things. In the way we dream dreams. In the way we anticipate what lies ahead in life.

By this time in life, many (most?) of us have faced some close calls with our health or our lives in general, or we have had people close to us face these close calls. We know for a fact, no room for doubt, that we are not immortal. At twenty-two we might have felt like there was an infinite amount of time before us. Now we know better.

This general way of thinking falls in line with the Tim McGraw song, Live Like You Were Dying. If you know you have a finite amount of time left to live, it’s important to get on with the business of living. Do what you want to do. See the parts of the world you want to see. Create what is in you to create. Before it’s too late.

Like Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman in The Bucket List, we need our own list of things to do before we die.

Drop and e-mail and help us start our own list here at Fit Over 50. I will start the list on this site today.

Being over 50 means I spend more time reflecting on my life than I ever did before. Maybe that’s because I have a lot more life under my belt to reflect on than I ever did before. At no time is the sharp jab of reflection felt more strongly than on a holiday. Today, Thanksgiving Day 2008, is no exception.

My husband and I were fortunate enough to share part of this day with my sister and one of my brothers. I am the youngest of the siblings by quite a few years (actually I have always thought I was an accident, but my parents denied it even though they couldn’t quite contain a little smile while doing so). And, since I have admitted to being over 50, that gives you the idea that my siblings are well into their sixties.

I have so many memories of the time when we were young; when our parents were still around to give advice; when most of our lives were still ahead of us and we had big plans and grand dreams.

Today, we all have a pretty good idea of how the course of our lives has played out. We know in large part what we might expect of the future. We have gained enough wisdom to figure out how to control what we can control and how to give up worrying about what we can’t control.

As I look around, however, I can’t help but reflect on the people, the places, the times and experiences that have passed before us, only to find life in our memories. I am grateful.

At 52, my life is good. My health, on this day, is still excellent. My finances are in order. My goals are being pursued. I have good people and good times at this point in my life. I believe more good is ahead of me.

To those people who have given me strength, hope, education and a desire to pursue my own happiness, I want to give thanks. Many of them don’t walk this earth any longer. Others have only a small role to play at this point in time. Still others encompass my world today. To quote a common cliche on the day, “It’s all good.”

With Thanksgiving and the rest of the holiday season upon us, many of us are starting to dust off the family collection of recipes and prepare to cook, bake and assemble those once a year culinary delights that tie us to our family and our childhood. I know I will be enjoying my traditional favorites of turkey, bread stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, a couple of vegetables and, for dessert, a chocolate pie.

What? You say my chocolate pie doesn’t match up with the traditional pumpkin pie you may be used to consuming at the end of your over-stuffed holiday dinner? Maybe not, but that is my tradition. It is my family tradition. Oh, we always had pumpkin pie and, believe it or not, mince meat pie for dessert as well. Those varieties had their followers at my family dinner table. But for me and several others, the holiday dinner always ended with chocolate pie.

Over the years a few traditions have changed. It’s still the turkey for the main course, but new and unique recipes for stuffing, variations on the theme for vegetables and a definite bend towards lower fat, more health conscious options has definitely emerged around the dinner table. For a while I even gravitated away from the chocolate pie.

But, not this year. This year will be dinner with family members of the old regime. The traditions will be the ones I grew up with.

Next year, who knows, maybe lobster tail and king crab legs on the menu for the holidays. That idea has a lot of appeal to me. I like to start new traditions so that, years from now, people will look back on the holidays and remember traditions that I am given credit for initiating.

What traditions do you hold onto? What new tradition would you like to start in your family this year?

One of the readers to this site, a lovely Fit Over 50 lady by the name of Rhonda, has had a dream all her life to write a novel. Originally the goal was to write the “Great American Novel.” It was to be an astounding work of brilliance to rank up there with the greatest classics of all time.

Time and life got in the way quite a bit on the road to fame and fortune (where have we all heard that before).

Today, the desire for fame and fortune may be less compelling, but the desire to write a novel still burns strong in Rhonda’s heart.

As so, she has begun to write. This is not the first attempt, to be sure. But this time, there is something different. The wish for fame and fortune may flicker in her brain, but the real passion is to write the story she carries in her heart. If it is famous, if it is ever read by a publisher, if it has any literary merit whatsoever - none is this is of primary importance anymore. This is just one of the goals in Rhonda’s “bucket list” (more on that great movie starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman in a future posting).

What dream do you carry around in your bucket list? For those of you who haven’t seen the movie, the bucket list is basically a list of things you want to do before you “kick the bucket.”

For the Fit Over 50 crowd, I know the bucket list is weighing heavily. I want to hear about the bucket you carry.

When I was a teenager I made a solemn vow to myself that I would always be at the height of fashion. I would wear the “in” clothes. I would sport the latest hairstyle. The length of my skirt would always be runway fresh. My look, in general, would always belie my advancing age.

As I so often say, “With age comes wisdom.” As I grew older, I grew wiser. I developed my own style. For the most part I am very comfortable with that style. Am I “in style?” I haven’t a clue. I suspect not. I see clothes on younger people that are an embarrassment to me. I see tattoos and piercings that appear to be remnants of torture. Most astounding to me, I see women going bare-legged in skirts and heels. UGH!! The concept of my bare foot sticking to the inner sole of my pumps makes my flesh crawl.

Okay, we can all agree I’m not “in style.” But, today, in my Evan Picone suit, flesh colored hose, 2-inch pumps and Liz Claiborne purse, I look good enough to feel good about my look. And there is the accomplishment. I am an adult.

I never used to think of myself as a complainer. Everything that happened in life was just another aspect of the way things were. I was alright with that.

Somewhere along the way I started considering the way things should be. When I would compare the way things should be with the way things were, I saw discrepancies. At first I just scratched my head in bewilderment. Then I started to complain.

Sometimes simply complaining brings results, but not usually. For the most part, complaining must be followed up with a healthy dose of action.

It’s a waste of time to complain about something that cannot be changed by action - eg. the weather, the date on the calendar, our age.

It’s also a waste of time to complain about something and not follow it up with action - eg. being upset about your weight and not trying to diet, being offended by human suffering and not offering service or financial aid to alleviate it, not liking your job or family life and not doing anything to change it.

I’m working on a list of my complaints. This will be a two column list: complaints I can fix with follow up action and, complaints I can do nothing about.

I’m going to throw the second column of the list away. Then I’m going to start adding action responses to the remaining list. What I can fix I will fix. What I can’t fix I will not complain about.

What are you complaining about?